Auto-tune is a pitch correction program for music production. It’s not the thing itself (cf. Kleenex, Band-Aids, or Coke in the southern climes). Many companies have software (or hardware) to accommodate the buyer, and although AutoTune is just one option available, it has become the generic name by which many refer to pitch correction.

So whether it’s Auto-tune or Melodyne or a lesser known competitor, we’ll call it Auto-tune. It lives in most recording studios, both project and larger commercial facilities, and is employed in live situations by various artists. The most notable historical uses were by Cher on “Believe” (the ‘Cher’ effect, vintage 1998) and T-Pain, who to some degree re-popularized it in the mid 2000’s.

I love/hate auto-tune. Love it as a tool to polish, fix, adjust, perfect, and generally improve performances. And I’m personally fine with it when it’s stylistically correct: rap, hip-hop, some pop, and so forth.

HATE/UNLIKE IT on so many levels. I unlike that the average listener doesn’t understand that what is perceived as a typical vocal on a pop, country, or gospel tune is often a heavily altered version of the artist’s actual performance. So a perfectly tuned vocal is the new normal, and real people singing tend to sound kind of pathetic unless they’re quite good, or being run through auto-tune live.

I hate that it sucks the life out of  many vocal performances because the producer/engineer, either by choice or out of ignorance, force the singer to get to the note they’re going for before their voice has finished the natural pitch “ramp up” (or occasionally down) to the note in question.

Even nastier is the removal of pitch variation in the vibrato. Seriously. Vibrato is comprised of variation in the amplitude (loudness) of the voice (or instrument) and and usually an up and down movement in the pitch. When you use auto-tune to remove that pitch variation, the result is unnatural and musically inferior. Sadly, some producers and engineers don’t have the ears to hear, the skill to carefully tune, or the budget to do it right.

The most painful use of auto-tune in my experience is Alison Krauss. I wanted to cry the first time I heard a PBS special where her vocals had been flat-lined. Come on people, it’s bluegrass, and Alison has a great voice and excellent pitch. But what was done to her voice was simply criminal. Now, the word on the street is that Alison is quite obsessive about her pitch, and wants it to be finely tuned. But somebody in the room should have pointed out that it was destroying the natural beauty of her voice.

In the CCM realm, Mac Powell (Third Day), in the past, has had producers/engineers completely mutilate and suck the life out of his vocals. He’s just one of a multitude of examples. They’ve ruined his voice on a bunch of songs, and it really angers me, literally.

A kissing cousin to the increasing tendency in some styles to use auto-tune is the Milli-Vanilli lip synching that pervades many live performances, as well as the use of instruments and vocals from recorded sources along with live elements. Adding extra instruments is interesting and debatable, but when there is a wall of perfect background vocals figuring prominently in the “live” mix, I  start to squirm. Yeah, I know that’s not the same as auto-tune, but it’s a part of the same culture of expected perfection and glossy wonderfulness.

I do have a glimmer of hope, as there is the occasional artist who rejects the whole technology driven concert thing and sing live without the aid of pitch correction or stacked back vocals. Kudos to you. And an encouragement to those who fake it simply to sell more records or to look and sound better to consider carefully the choices you’ve made. Because if more of us were weary enough of this big polished thing, eventually we might replace the new normal with something a couple notches closer to the old normal (reality).

Hey, cool idea, artists could learn to sing and play better, and perhaps in rare cases we could actually promote artists for their artistry and honest communication and not because they look/sound like plastic replicas of idealized models (Stepford Wives anybody?). But that’s another rant for anther day.

Update – Adele’s “Rolling In The Deep” is a great example of a contemporary tune that doesn’t employ auto-tune, and it’s much stronger without it, even though you hear notes out of tune all over the place.

FURTHER UPDATE: Just heard a Paul McCartney and band live concert in New York from 2011). Badly auto-tuned in places, and heavily auto-tuned throughout. Wish I could get my hands on the guy who convinced McCartney to have his vocals run through auto-tune ALL THE TIME. And on a setting that was too fast to boot. It was such a vibe killer. And it was the whole band – all singers were tuned all the time, at least from the time I tuned it to the concert.

5 years ago I would have scoffed if you said McCartney would do this. Hey Paul McCartney, it sounds like absolute crap when you let them do this to your voice. Nothing could sound more unlike the art you and some other guys created a few decades ago. This sounded cheap, prefab, plastic, assembly line, pre-packaged, fake, lacking authenticity, and so forth.

Philips Craig and Dean’s recording of Wonderful Merciful Savior – a lovely worship song – was hurt pretty bad in places by auto-tune. This is a case where the machine sees a vibrato and thinks the singer meant to go to the note 1/2 step lower, so the pitch has this unnatural warble for a fraction of a second early and often during held vibrato notes, especially when the tonic is held, because it’s only 1/2 step down to a note that is in the key of the song.

“Forget The Church, Follow Jesus” by Andrew Sullivan is the featured cover story on the latest issue of Newsweek.  He begins by revisiting Thomas Jefferson’s shredding of the Bible. As you may recall, Jefferson famously extricated a few passages in the New Testament he felt conveyed the actual teachings of Jesus accurately; these became his new improved Bible. He referred to his new document as the “diamonds,” and the remaining texts as the “dunghill.” Sullivan uses Jefferson’s personal philosophy as (ostensibly) a disciple of the doctrines of Jesus as a segue into his own personal viewpoint on the status of Christianity today.

Sullivan correctly points out that a faith long on doctrine and short on action is seriously deficient, and he does well in calling our attention to the way in which Christianity has become distorted and diseased with the prosperity gospel. The Catholic church is (rightfully) skewered for “enabling, and then covering up, an international conspiracy to abuse and rape countless youths and children.”

Those who adhere to a “rigid literalism” (inerrancy, a 6,000 year old earth, and so forth) are taken to task as well. It should come as no surprise that Sullivan, a married homosexual, claims Jesus never addressed homosexuality, but did forgive adulterers, and strongly condemned divorce. Sullivan rails against the Catholic church for intruding into our bedrooms, beginning with its prohibition of “the pill” in the 1960′s, and against the church on other fronts.

His answer to our modern day ‘Christianity in Crisis’ focuses on the life of St. Francis of Assisi, and the study of his life and reflections is indeed still beneficial for us today.

While there are some points worth reflection and discussion in Sullivan’s article, it’s hard to take seriously a man who against the clear teaching of Scripture is a practicing homosexual. Those who agree with his take on sexuality may be more receptive to his message, but for most of us who stand with historical Christianity, this alone disqualifies him as worthy of serious attention. And there’s always that troubling and lengthy reference to Jefferson’s new and improved canon, with not even a whisper of protest.

There is nothing new in Sullivan’s attempt to focus on love, to the exclusion of justice, eternal consequences, and the difficult path of following Jesus. He is simply another in a long line of heretics.

This is a treasury of the sayings of Glenn Millikan, my father, presented to him on his 90th birthday – what have we forgotten? Add a comment at the bottom of this page.
We’re losing money on every sale, but we’ll make it up in volume

You’ll pick yourself up in a corner (upon giving dad a hard time)
Be a good girl (boy) and laugh and sing
You’ll be the richest man in the graveyard (if I was working a lot of hours)
She loves me madly
I played like a sausage (while playing rook)
It’s hot in this closet
the hurrier I try, the behinder I get
(Thousands of lines continuously narrating sports events on TV in detail which everyone had clearly seen and heard)
(Handing me the phone when I was visiting, with  my significant other on the line) “It’s the war department…”
You got rocks in your head, boy…
Feed the baby garlic so you can find him in the dark
Pardon me for breathing (when offended or feelings were hurt)
(When rather tired) Man, I couldn’t whip a cat.
Why didn’t you say so before you spoke?
Dry up and blow away! (when someone was irritating Dad or being critical, usu. spoken humorously)
cousin weak eyes, eh?     was dad’s comment when you couldn’t read something, or needed stronger glasses etc
The outgo for the upkeep’s too much for the income
Man I’m bushed
The corn is green (referring to bad humor)
If they’re in that much of a hurry, they should have left yesterday
It’s mind over platter
You should have stood closer to the razor (to someone growing a beard)
I’d like to help you out…which way did you come in?
You’re breedin’ a scab on your nose
I don’t mind being a grandpa, but I’m not so sure about being married to a grandma (Spring 1958 upon the birth of Cheronne)
Yeah yeah, sure sure
Grab an old cold tater and wait (hungry but forced to wait awhile to eat)
Can’t win for losing
Reeeediculous
(referring to vehicles) You have to baby ‘em…
Man ahoy!
Let’s go to bed so these nice people can go home!
What in the Sam Hill
Home from the trenches/salt mines
Cobdobit!
Pink pills for pale people
My stomach’s quit hurting – must be time to eat
I feel so old that I don’t even buy green bananas
Stupid________
Stupid dummy…
Busier than a one-armed paper hanger
Pantin’ like a steam engine
When’s the last time you changed your oil?
Good grief
Oh my achin’ back
Criminy!
We is they
Fat and sassy (Tami Babin heard this the first time)
It runs like a sewin’ machine
“Rount Manier” (quoting young Scott)
How goes the battle?
For cryin’ out loud
Dagnab it!
I don’t know where we’re going, but we’re making good time
I have two speeds: slow and stop
Scrappy birthday!
Just one more clean shirt)
That’s a happy thought
A-B-C’in’ ya
Flattery will get you everywhere
Things are tough all over
Back to the salt pit
Nuts!
Ertsnay (profound thanks to Betty Millikan Haskin for editorial help)
Quit chokin’ that girl!
None of your beeswax
Oh mother bear…
… and a parsnip in a pantry
One foot on a banana peel and the other on a slippery place
Help stamp out white shirts
Here I come you lucky people
Any color as long as it’s red
I can tell you’re on the level ’cause the bubble’s in the middle
You got rocks in your head, boy
‘Taint funny Mcgee!
When you’re changing lanes, never check your blind spot or they’ll bluff you out every time
Shut the door behind you and don’t let it hit you on the way out
The hurrier I try the behinder I get
I thought when I got to be 90, that would be it. But, I’m still here! (After his 90th birthday)
Fantastic.
It takes me longer to rest up than it does to get tired. (After breakfast/lunch/dinner and he went in to take a nap.)
You’re killing me with kindness
You oughtta try some Slick 50 in it (your vehicle, because it’s guaranteed to increase your mileage)
It’s dark in this closet
Rise and shine
Good night, don’t let the bedbugs bite
Nobody here but us chickens
He was goin’ like sixty
The hurrier I try, the behinder I get
Halitosis is better than no breath at all
Uppy uppy uppy!
Man, he was goin’ like a house-afire
I don’t want to get “soft” (followed by pushups and/or setups, or in earlier years jogging on a trail)
I think hair styles have been going shorter… (trying to convince me to cut my hair circa 1973)
You got knots in your head?
That looks like a pretty drive…wonder where that road goes? (Scott Haskin got this gene in abundance, which must skip a generation)
I tell you what….
Great day in the morning
Thank you, I think
I thought I was wrong once, but I was mistaken
Be thankful for little things
Oh my achin’ back
That’s a pain in the neck
Home James, and don’t spare the horses
I have to watch my girlish figure
Man, I’m all tuckered out
He was goin’ like a house afire
Lead on Macduff (tbd if this originated with mom or dad)
That’s as clear as mud, eh?
Grinnin’ like a chessie cat
he called my mom his “ blushing bride”
peel me another grape (when he was enjoying being waited upon)
Good morning, sunshine.
Were you born in a barn?
Crumb…
What a pain in the neck
54-40 or fight
Tippecanoe and Tyler too…
Is there anything else I can pickup as long as I am down here? (Said after he had dropped something. With his bad knees it was an adventure. As my knees get stiffer, I have started using this saying.) ~ courtesy Doug Haskin